What I Was Like Before
The kind of person I used to be is the complete opposite of how I am now. I had a bad temper. I lost my cool over every little thing. I was very emotional. I made mountains out of mole hills. You could say I was a drama queen. I was insecure. My feelings were always being hurt. I spent most of my life being paranoid. I usually thought people were talking about me behind my back.
Even though all of this was going on inside me, I still remained popular all throughout my school years with the most popular people. Everyone seemed to like me and I never understood why. I guess I was just good at hiding my true feelings.
Profanity was an everyday occurrence. Seems I couldn't get though a sentence without it. I often told dirty jokes and laughed when they were told to me. I never gave a second thought to this way of living. After all, everyone I knew was the same way, so I blended into this world quite nicely.
But the worse part about my life was my drinking alcohol. I drank more than anyone I knew. As my life went on, my drinking progressed. I became an alcoholic. It got to the point where drinking was the first thing on my mind every day when I first got out of bed. The first thing I would do, no matter how early in the morning it was, I would go to my freezer, get out my bottle of rum and chug a few gulps in order to get ready for work.
I always carried a fifth of booze in my oversized purse wherever I went. We (my bottle and I) went to work together, to the movies, shopping and even to church. I made numerous trips to the ladies room to chug a little every chance I got. I made sure I chewed lots of gum and breath mints. I was pretty good at hiding it from people. I was a closet drinker. I knew my drinking was abnormal, that's why I hid it. Towards the end of my drinking career, everybody was catching on and knew I had a serious problem. It was embarrassing to say the least.
When I first started drinking it worked wonders for me because it helped me with my insecurities. When I drank I felt better about myself. I was more outgoing and happier. Then over the years as time went on it didn't seem to work anymore. I became overweight, my liver was huge, my hair was falling out and my feelings of security and happiness had turned to severe depression. No longer was it able to do it's job of hiding my true feelings and emotions.
For a long time, booze was my best friend. Then it turned on me. It was as if I'd been betrayed. I tried treatment centers ... only to continue drinking after being released. I tried switching from the hard stuff to wine and that didn't work either. I tried every trick in the book but nothing could keep me away from that wicked stuff. I knew I was going to die an alcoholic just like my father had done. I was, as they say, "A chip off the old block."
One day I sat my husband down and explained to him that I wasn't going to be with him much longer because my health was so bad from drinking and that there was no hope for me. I told him how sorry I was and to make sure I had a closed casket at my wake because I didn't want my friends and family to see me in that box bloated and bald. I wanted them to remember me as the young pretty girl I'd used to be. I told him to place a picture of me as a young sober girl on top of the casket. My husband is a kind, gentle man who loves me very much. Needless to say, this was the most heartbreaking conversation we had ever had. He is not a drinking man so he had no answers for me. We were at our wits end as to what to do. We felt helpless and hopeless.
What Happened
Now let me tell you what happened. I thought I would give Alcoholics Anonymous a try. Actually I thought it sounded like a lame idea, I mean you know, if an expensive hospital can't help me ... how could they? But then I thought at least I'd be around people like myself if nothing else.
My husband Gary took me to a meeting, dropped me off and said he'd back in an hour. I hated to see him drive away but the meetings are for alcoholics only and since he doesn't drink he didn't qualify to be there.
It was scary walking into a room of strangers. The meeting hadn't yet started so everyone was hanging around the coffee pot shootin' the breeze. When they saw me, they knew it was my first time there. I had cry-face and what hair I had left was pulled back into a puny ponytail.
They welcomed me with handshakes and some of them with hugs. They said things like, "you're in the right place" and "it gets better" and their most famous line, I found out later, "keep coming back."
Well, I did everything they suggested I do. I went to a meeting every day, studied my Alcoholic Anonymous book (they refer to it as "the big book") and made lots of friends. Eventually, with everybody's support, I found myself not drinking. A week went by, then a month. Before I knew it an entire year had passed without so much as one drink. >Barb's Christian Webpage
Kim's Testimony
What I Was Like Before
The kind of person I used to be is the complete opposite of how I am now. I had a bad temper. I lost my cool over every little thing. I was very emotional. I made mountains out of mole hills. You could say I was a drama queen. I was insecure. My feelings were always being hurt. I spent most of my life being paranoid. I usually thought people were talking about me behind my back.
Even though all of this was going on inside me, I still remained popular all throughout my school years with the most popular people. Everyone seemed to like me and I never understood why. I guess I was just good at hiding my true feelings.
Profanity was an everyday occurrence. Seems I couldn't get though a sentence without it. I often told dirty jokes and laughed when they were told to me. I never gave a second thought to this way of living. After all, everyone I knew was the same way, so I blended into this world quite nicely.
But the worse part about my life was my drinking alcohol. I drank more than anyone I knew. As my life went on, my drinking progressed. I became an alcoholic. It got to the point where drinking was the first thing on my mind every day when I first got out of bed. The first thing I would do, no matter how early in the morning it was, I would go to my freezer, get out my bottle of rum and chug a few gulps in order to get ready for work.
I always carried a fifth of booze in my oversized purse wherever I went. We (my bottle and I) went to work together, to the movies, shopping and even to church. I made numerous trips to the ladies room to chug a little every chance I got. I made sure I chewed lots of gum and breath mints. I was pretty good at hiding it from people. I was a closet drinker. I knew my drinking was abnormal, that's why I hid it. Towards the end of my drinking career, everybody was catching on and knew I had a serious problem. It was embarrassing to say the least.
When I first started drinking it worked wonders for me because it helped me with my insecurities. When I drank I felt better about myself. I was more outgoing and happier. Then over the years as time went on it didn't seem to work anymore. I became overweight, my liver was huge, my hair was falling out and my feelings of security and happiness had turned to severe depression. No longer was it able to do it's job of hiding my true feelings and emotions.
For a long time, booze was my best friend. Then it turned on me. It was as if I'd been betrayed. I tried treatment centers ... only to continue drinking after being released. I tried switching from the hard stuff to wine and that didn't work either. I tried every trick in the book but nothing could keep me away from that wicked stuff. I knew I was going to die an alcoholic just like my father had done. I was, as they say, "A chip off the old block."
One day I sat my husband down and explained to him that I wasn't going to be with him much longer because my health was so bad from drinking and that there was no hope for me. I told him how sorry I was and to make sure I had a closed casket at my wake because I didn't want my friends and family to see me in that box bloated and bald. I wanted them to remember me as the young pretty girl I'd used to be. I told him to place a picture of me as a young sober girl on top of the casket. My husband is a kind, gentle man who loves me very much. Needless to say, this was the most heartbreaking conversation we had ever had. He is not a drinking man so he had no answers for me. We were at our wits end as to what to do. We felt helpless and hopeless.
What Happened
Now let me tell you what happened. I thought I would give Alcoholics Anonymous a try. Actually I thought it sounded like a lame idea, I mean you know, if an expensive hospital can't help me ... how could they? But then I thought at least I'd be around people like myself if nothing else.
My husband Gary took me to a meeting, dropped me off and said he'd back in an hour. I hated to see him drive away but the meetings are for alcoholics only and since he doesn't drink he didn't qualify to be there.
It was scary walking into a room of strangers. The meeting hadn't yet started so everyone was hanging around the coffee pot shootin' the breeze. When they saw me, they knew it was my first time there. I had cry-face and what hair I had left was pulled back into a puny ponytail.
They welcomed me with handshakes and some of them with hugs. They said things like, "you're in the right place" and "it gets better" and their most famous line, I found out later, "keep coming back."
Well, I did everything they suggested I do. I went to a meeting every day, studied my Alcoholic Anonymous book (they refer to it as "the big book") and made lots of friends. Eventually, with everybody's support, I found myself not drinking. A week went by, then a month. Before I knew it an entire year had passed without so much as one drink.
On my one year anniversary I thanked God and everyone there for helping me through the toughest year of my life.
I kept going to meetings. I still had the desire to drink especially on bad days. I knew I had to stay close to those people or else I would break down and drink.
During this whole AA experience I prayed to God every day. I started to wonder to myself, "Is God the reason I haven't drank in over a year or was it the people of AA? If God is so mighty then why do I need all these people?" Going to AA day after day, week after week started to get old. But I felt that if I didn't hang with those people that I would start drinking again. So I kept going back.
There are certain things AA people say all the time, like, "You never graduate from AA" and "You'll never be recovered, but always in recovery." Hearing things like that made me mad. There were people who had been there ten, twenty and even thirty years or more. As much as I liked everyone, I surely didn't want to spend the rest of my life with them! I thought to myself, "This can't be it, there has to be more to the story."
I wanted to graduate. I wanted to be recovered. I wanted to be free!
A bit about AA
People in AA come from all walks of life. Some are wealthy, some are poor, and some are average like me. But once inside those doors, everyone is virtually the same due to the common bond we share.
These meetings, to me, after a year, were like being stuck in neutral. It was always the same drunken war stories from the same people. Most of them tried to put a humorous twist on theirs trying to get a laugh. Then the next guy would try to outdo the last. I failed to see the humor in getting drunk in public, making a fool out of yourself, getting thrown in jail numerous times, drunk driving and having your spouse leave you because he or she just couldn't live that way any longer. These things were not funny to me.
But there was one guy there who intrigued me. He was tall, thirtyish, always wore a tie and walked with a limp. He always had a gentle smile for everyone. Always sat in the back row of chairs not far from me. His name was Don. He was polite and quiet.
Don seemed different from any other guy there. He was calm and always seemed at peace. Most people at AA are usually stressed out for one reason or another because they hadn't yet learned to deal with life without booze. There weren't too many people you could run to for advice because for the most part, they were in the same boat. But every time I saw Don, he was always the same. Calm, peaceful, and always pleasant. I wanted to know what made him tick, ya know? Where is he getting all that peace? After all, I had seen every feeling and emotion known to man in that room from virtually everyone. But Don always remained the same no matter what.
Well, one day I had something of a breakdown. I thought if I had to sit through one more meeting and hear one more broken record war story, that I would either kill myself or head to the nearest booze store. But, being the trooper that I am, I gave it a shot. I sat through the whole thing and when it was over, I stayed in my chair as everyone else left. I thought I was alone and started crying. Then I looked over my shoulder and there was Mr. Peace (Don). I walked over to him with tears running down my face and said, rather loudly, " How do you manage to stay so calm all the time in this place! I'm not learning anything except dirty jokes and I want to drink!" He looked at me with that polite face, which I had the urge to slap for some reason. Jealousy, most likely. I was borderline insane at the time.
He said that he had noticed me going from person to person searching for a way out, an answer. He said he could tell that I wasn't willing to settle like everyone else. He looks for people like me. Studies them you might say. The reason? He's a born again Christian. He knew I loved God, and that I was desperate to be free.
He said, "I can help you by giving you the truth." I didn't know what he was talking about but the words "help you" got my attention so I was all ears. He said, "This program has been extremely watered down over the years. It's not what it used to be back in the old days. These people are missing it. They're blind to the truth."
So there he went with that "truth" thing again. "What was that all about?" I wondered.
The next day I found out.
During this time of my life I had a job as a receptionist in a graphics company. I worked Monday thru Friday 8:00 am to 5:00 pm. About five minutes down the street from work, in a small building, is where my AA meetings were held. That's where I spent my lunch hour every day from 12:00 to 1:00.
On this particular day, after my conversation with Don, I went back to work and told my boss that I needed to take the next day off. Because of my cry-face, he didn't bother to ask why.
The plan was for Don to pick me up the next morning at 9:00 am. I made sure I was ready and waiting on my porch in case I had to flag him down. He had never been to my house before. As I stood there waiting, I got to thinking, this would be the first time we've ever been together outside of a meeting. I wondered if Mr. Peace would be any different. I'd hoped he wasn't an axe murderer. You know what they say about those "quiet guys."
He was right on time. He didn't seem any different. We went back to his place. He lived in a second floor apartment. As soon as we walked in, he apologized for it being a little messy but his wife was out of town. All of a sudden the axe murderer thought flashed in my head again. He had always told me that he was a happily married man and I assumed she would be there so I could meet her for the first time. He showed me a picture of her. She was pretty, but then so are the girls who come with the frame. I decided to calm down and stop having all these crazy thoughts.
He made a pot of coffee. We sat in the livingroom. I got right to the point. I said, "So what's this truth stuff all about?" He picked up his Bible and said, "This is the truth." I wasn't expecting a Bible, but it sure beat the heck out of an axe!
As he started speaking again, I cut him off. I told him I've tried the "God Thing." I told him that I prayed, cried, and pleaded every day, but it just wasn't working for me. I told him that inside myself I felt crazy, confused, incomplete, like something was missing. I told him that I "God this" and I "God that" every day, GOD-GOD-GOD!! He just looked at me and asked one question...
"Have you ever tried Jesus?"
I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure how to answer that question. Then he said, "Do you know Jesus?" I asked him what he meant by "know." So he suggested that I tell him what I know about Jesus, if anything at all. So I talked and he listened.
I told him what I knew, which wasn't much. I started by telling him that my Dad died when I was young. My Mom raised five kids by herself. She was and still is a Christian. She made sure we went to church every Sunday and Vacation Bible School every summer. I told him that I was taught to believe in Jesus and was baptized when I was twelve years old. Then I stopped talking because that was about as much as I knew.
He then asked me a few more questions, like, "Did you understand why you were being baptized? ... the meaning of it? ... the importance of it?"
These questions made me feel a little ticked off inside. Although I tried not to let it show, I think the change of my tone gave it away. Those questions made me realize my ignorance of Jesus. So then I felt stupid on top of everything else!
My tone and I told him exactly how it was. I said, "Dude, I was twelve, a kid. At that age I didn't understand much of anything. When Mom said to go to church, I did. When Mom said to get baptized, I did. I mean, you know, when my Mom told me to do something, I did it. Kids don't ask about "meaning," "understanding," and "importance." What kid does that?
He then asked me if I had a relationship with Jesus? And once again I wasn't sure what he meant. So I said, "Well, yeh, I guess so." He asked me if I had ever invited Jesus into my heart? I said, "I don't recall, I mean, if I did, I don't remember it. I've always just figured He was in there. I mean, isn't that what the baptizing deal was all about? For crying out loud, I was just a kid!"
So he began telling me about Jesus in a simple way that was easy to understand. Then we held hands, bowed our heads, and prayed. I asked God to forgive me of all my sins and invited Jesus Christ into my heart.
I was instantly filled with the Holy Spirit. And I do mean instantly, as in, that very minute! In that same minute my desire for alcohol was lifted from me, all those mixed up crazy feelings were gone, and were replaced with peace, love and joy.
I am a true miracle. I was born again in that messy little livingroom.
I found out that day that Jesus is real. Jesus is alive. Jesus can perform miracles. And most of all, Jesus loves me.
After all these years, I now finally have God's attention. All it took was asking His forgiveness and inviting His Son, Jesus Christ, into my heart.
Jesus Christ is the one and only mediator between God and man.
The only way to get through to God is through Jesus.
The only way to get to Heaven is through Jesus.
The only way to have real peace and joy is through Jesus.
If you don't have Jesus - You don't have God.
And that's the plain, simple truth!!
OK ... Now What??
After I accepted Christ and was getting ready to leave Don's house I said to him, "O.K., now what do I do?"
And he said, "Nothing, just go home, kick back and let Jesus do His thing." So that's exactly what I did.
And before you know it, profanity started to sting my ears, I was hungry for the Bible, television shows that I used to watch were all of a sudden tacky, all kinds of stuff like that. It was just like Don said, Jesus was doing His thing, He was changing me. He opened my eyes and helped me to recognize sin. I just want people to understand that without the mind of Christ, it's impossible to change for the better where God is concerned, especially for an alcoholic.
Now Don didn't say that you just sit back and never do anything ever. What I needed to know right then is that Jesus will accept me just the way I am, and that I can just sit back and let Him start doing His thing.
So many people that I talk to think that they need to clean up first because they're not acceptable to Jesus. They also think that they will never be able to live a Christian life because they just don't have it in them. Well, they're probably right. So I am letting them know how Jesus changes the way they think, act, and talk, like He did for me. I can't take any credit for the change in me, I give all the glory to God. If it weren't for Jesus cleaning up my mind, I would not have the sense to make Godly decisions. He did that for me and all I did was sit back and let it happen, just like I said. I want people know that they needn't try to change themselves and their wicked ways before coming to know Christ as their savior ... because they can't. They need the mind of Christ in order to make it happen.
After I had the good sense that He supplied me with, I was then able to do what is right according to God's Word. Without the power of the Holy Spirit within me, I couldn't do it.
What's it's like now
Don picked up the old depressed me at 9:00 am and brought home the new joyful me at 10:00 pm.
Being filled with the Holy Spirit by asking Jesus into my heart has changed me in ways I never thought possible. I had always heard about people getting possessed by evil spirits and I'd seen plenty of movies about it, but I'd never heard about being possessed by a good one, nor had I ever seen such a movie.
Now that I knew Jesus is real, alive, and living inside me, I couldn't wait to tell my AA friends. They were taught to believe in a higher power. They could make their higher power anything they wanted it to be as long as it was higher than themself. I always thought that was goofy, but, whatever.
I was so excited to tell them that there was a way out! Freedom at last! The answer is Jesus.
Well, that went over like a lead balloon. Out of the entire group, I couldn't get one person to believe. They just looked at me like I was a nut. These were good friends of mine. I mean, here they were with all their higher powers, which were anything from dogs to doorknobs, but I mention Jesus and they thought I'd gone off the deep end. Go figure. I went from being popular to being an outcast. Since nobody would listen to me and believe Jesus was real, I stopped going to the meetings. There was no reason for me to go, I was fixed. My desire for alcohol had been lifted, so why go? Thanks to Jesus, I'd been set free! I still, to this day, can't believe that no one followed me. Not one person.
Maybe you'll listen
Oh well, since they wouldn't listen to me, maybe you will. So let me tell you what Jesus does and how He can fix you when you invite Him into your heart. This goes for anybody. You don't have to be an alcoholic. It doesn't matter what your problem is. But I'll tell you right now, if you don't have Jesus, then you have a problem. So listen up.
He starts by cleaning up your mind and changing the way you think. He changes you from the inside, out. You eventually, if not immediately, lose that "If it feels good - do it" attitude. He also softens your heart. You become a nicer person. You don't get angry and lose your cool over every little thing. He does all this for you.
Are you ready for this one? You stop hating people. All my life I've heard that God wants us to love our enemies. I've always wondered how this was possible. I've always thought, "You've got to be kidding." But Jesus makes this possible. That's because your old heart is gone. You've been given a new one. You don't have to like everyone, but God demands that you love everyone, and your new heart makes this possible.
So far, this does sound too good to be true. No wonder all those AA people looked at me like I was nuts. But it is true! All of it! Now please keep reading, there's more.
Now that you have a cleaner mind and a softer heart, your old bad habits start to fade away. Your interests change. You feel different. These things are all for the better. And who doesn't want to be better? Now that you have Jesus, it's easy.
Jesus guides you, directs you, and keeps you on the right path. He helps you avoid trouble and wrong doing. He wants you to live a life that pleases God. Jesus never leaves you. He teaches us the difference between right and wrong. Let me give you an example so you'll know what I'm talking about when I say things like guide, direct and teach. I'll tell you something that happened to me one day that taught me a lesson. And then I'll shut up, I promise.
I was at home in the middle of the day watching one of those stupid talk shows. I hadn't been born again for very long so I didn't have much sense. Anyway, the guest on this show was a famous female psychic. She was telling the audience members how she could see their dead relatives. She was telling people where they could find the bodies of their missing loved ones. All kinds of stuff like that and I was just eating this up. I mean, she could tell the future, and did I mention I didn't have much sense? Anyway, at the end of the show, she plugged her latest book. She said it was the 28th one she'd written. So I went to the library to find one of her books. There were plenty of them. I studied the spines looking for a title that peeked my interest. I saw one and took it off the shelf. As soon as I did, a voice inside me said, "PUT THAT BACK!" It wasn't a voice that anyone could hear, just me. It was a voice that meant business, that's for sure. I put that sucker back on the shelf as fast as I could and headed for the Jesus books. He didn't want me messing with that broad for some reason, so I didn't. When I got home, I looked up the word "occult" in the back of my Bible. It said to turn to Deuteronomy 18 verses 10-12. Sure enough, there it was in black and white, "Stay away from psychics, they are a horror and disgust to the Lord!"
So you see what I'm saying about guiding you? He kept me from displeasing God that day. He taught me right from wrong that day. He helped me to obey God.
This is just one example. Things like this happen everyday to me. Jesus keeps me on the right track so I can become a better person and pleasing to God.
No one else can do anything even close to this. There are many religions in this world, but none of them have a savior who is alive, except one. Confucius is dead, Lao-Tzu, (the father of Taoism) is dead, Buddha is dead, Muhammad is dead, Hare Krishna is dead, the Roman Caesars are all dead, Karl Marx is dead. They all eventually die ... and stay dead! So how in the world can any of them help you? They were just men. The same goes for all the rest of those stupid false gods and religions. But Jesus Christ died and then conquered death! He is risen from the dead! We can go to Him anytime we want to. We can ask Him to take charge of our lives and guide us through life. He wants to be closer to you than your best friend!
And let me tell you one last thing. If you're a member of AA or anything like that, don't let anybody tell you that you can't graduate! It's a flat out lie! With the power of Jesus Christ in you, anything is possible. And the only way to get to God is through His Son. If you reject His Son then God will reject you. This is a true fact!!!
It's YOUR choice
From the beginning, God gave humanity free choice to follow Him or ignore Him. God allows you to decide everything for yourself. He wants everyone to have a heart with common sense and logic ... a heart filled with love and understanding.
To have such a heart requires believing and trusting in His only Son Jesus Christ. God allows everyone the choice to fit in with Him. Only Jesus (the mediator between God and man) makes this possible. To know Jesus is to be up close and personal with God.
Once you accept Jesus Christ into your heart, you are instantly changed. The Holy Spirit steps in and fills you with peace, love, joy, and supernatural power that you never thought possible. All of this makes God proud to call you His own child and all the angels in heaven rejoice! You are connected with God the way it was meant to be. You become a saint. Only saints are allowed in God's Kingdom when we leave this earth.
Because of your relationship with His Son you now have God's full attention. Jesus will make sure all your prayers are heard by Father God Himself. You are to end every prayer; "In Jesus' name. Amen.
Jesus said, "I assure you, unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God." (John 3:3)
It's called being born again because your entire past has been wiped away and you are starting anew. Once Jesus steps in, He imediately goes to work on your mind, body and soul. There's not much you have to do but sit back and wait. He does it all for you. It's kind of like inviting a housekeeper to your messed-up house and saying, "Well, here it is, so do what you can." But Jesus doesn't charge you anything because He already paid the price for you when He took a beating and died on the cross for you.
He cleans your house, so to speak, by changing the way you think, act, walk, talk and feel. You become a much better person because you are now possessed by the Holy Spirit. Your old sinful ways start to bother you. You start to recognize your wrong-doing. The things you use to do just don't feel right to you anymore. Your entire life starts to change for the better. People start to see the difference in you and want to know what your secret is. But you will know that it's nothing you did yourself, but it is the power of Jesus.
AA is just a minor stepping stone that leads to the awesome Rock which is Jesus. You can remain on that tiny stone or head for the Rock that changes you and frees you from all bondage. The people of AA are fine for helping you to get dried out enough to somewhat clear your mind, which is fine for starters, but then it's time to get down to business with what really matters ... which is the Rock.
Jesus is the most important step you can ever take in your life. Jesus is life! Just think how much help you can be to others once Jesus has done a number on you. Not only will you feel different on the inside but your outward appearance will show it. You'll look younger, happier and you'll smile more. This is the honest truth.
The best part of all is that you can be 100% sure that you will go to heaven when you leave this earth. What a comforting fact to know! Most people think they are going to heaven simply because they aren't drinking and they are showing up to meetings and helping others. All those things are fine and dandy, but it's not what God is looking for. He wants your heart. He wants you to have a personal relationship with His Son and be filled with the Holy spirit so he can call you His child.
I'm ending this letter with four simple steps that will lead you to Christ. Please believe me when I say that everything in my testimony as well as this letter is absolutely true. It worked for me as well as others and it will work for you. I promise! This is not a magical formula. This is the start of a new relationship ... your relationship with Jesus Christ as your PERSONAL Savior.
And don't forget that you can do this all by yourself if you want to. No one has to know but you and God. It can also be done anywhere, bedroom, bathroom, wherever.
1. Tell God that you believe in Him.
2. Tell God that you believe in His Son Jesus. And that you believe He died on the cross for you and rose again three days later.
3. Ask God to please forgive you of all your sins and mistakes of the past.
4. And finally, ask Jesus to come into your heart and live forever. Ask Him to give you a new heart and change you for the better.
Thank You Father God-
Thank You Jesus Christ-
In Jesus' name I Pray. Amen
Welcome To God's Family!!
Keep in mind that Jesus will pick you back up when you should stumble and put you back on that Godly path much quicker than humans can. It's important that you don't give up on Jesus. Keep asking Jesus to solve your problems, rather than people. He will do better things than you could ever hope for, when you put all your trust in Him! Jesus forgives us when we ask him to. He always gives us another chance, and He is always there when we talk (pray) with him.
At times it can seem that the Bible is overwhelming. For me, I found that the way to get to know Jesus was by reading the Gospel of John. Jesus teaches his disciples and the people how to live a life that is pleasing to God. He states who He is and why His father sent Him. After you have read the book of John, you can read Acts, Romans and the rest falls into place as you read them.
Your Friend Always, KimberlyFirst John 2:27, "But you have received the Holy Spirit (Greek: the Anointing), and He lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Holy Spirit teaches you all things, and what He teaches is true - it is not a lie. So continue in what He has taught you, and continue to live in Christ."
Please feel free to email me. I'd love to hear from you.--- written with the power of the Holy Spirit by Kim Bruggeman